Did anyone read that book or see that movie??? I did both. Fuck that!!! Now, EVERY conversation I have with a guy, or every date that I go on, I find that I analyze it more than ever before and I start freaking out! Oh my God! No good, people!!!

I’m about to go on a rant about my very personal life and it’s probably gonna sound really obsessive, but, at this point, I don’t care:

So, this GUY contacts me about the event I’m hosting in Montreal during UFC, blah blah blah… He ends up shipping me probably a thousand dollars worth of clothes. Yay! Free shit! However, there’s more to it than that. After thanking him over and over, we ending up keeping in touch and chatting very often over the course of a couple weeks and had become excited to meet in Montreal. We even chatted during our layovers in different airports on our way out there… And I’m talkin’ 4am phone calls! So, we meet, we instantly connect like old friends, enjoy each other’s company for a few days, and we even slept together. I know I fuck for a living, but I take first-time-sex with a new ‘friend’ very seriously. I don’t do it just to do it. I really liked him! Even my girl friend noticed that he was really into me. It was just one of those connections.

Anyway, we get home (different flights), we exchanged text messages for a couple days, and he tells me he’s sick. Okay. No one likes to be bothered when they’re sick, so I let him be. This past Friday, after a couple days without talking, I sent a random text message while bored at a bar watching my friends get drunk. We exchanged a few messages: he said he had gotten the flu and was still sick, so I made a joke about wanting to bring him chicken noodle soup but I can’t cook. No answer. No NOTHING all weekend.

So, this morning, I’d say about 10 or 11am, I sent a simple, “Hope you’re feeling better” text. EIGHT HOURS LATER, I got, “I am feelin’ a lil bit better”. Hmmm… Maybe you’re sick, but I expected a little more…

I was so confused, I called my girlfriend: Is he REALLY sick, or does he just not want to see me? I thought we had a great connection, but maybe he was just in it for a little ‘away from home sex’. But, he was such a nice and very genuine guy and treated me extremely well, so I don’t think he would purposely be an asshole. If he doesn’t want to see me, why not tell me??? If he is sick, why not say, “Hey, I’d really like to see you when I get better” or something like that. Or, maybe he is just really sick… like, bedridden, puking his brains out kind of sick and he just doesn’t have the strength to do anything. I DON’T KNOW!!!! And it’s fucking killing me!!!!

Maybe he’s just not that into me…  FUCK THAT MOVIE/BOOK, by the way! If you haven’t seen/read it… DON’T! It’ll ruin your life!

So anyway, I told my friend that I didn’t want to seem needy or desperate or anything, but I really like this guy. It’s crazy how I barely knew him, but just felt ‘it’. But it’s the truth. And I’m not one for playing games. Fuck that shit. I like you; you like me… Let’s fucking go out! Or, if you aren’t into it… TELL ME!!!

We came up with the conclusion to just call him. It’d been a few days, so why not. I called. No answer. So, I left a voicemail. Short, sweet, to the point: “…Glad to hear you’re feeling a little better… Would really like to see you again… If you’re up for it, give me a call.” So, ball’s in his court, I guess.

I fucking hate ‘dating’ for these reasons. Why can’t we all just be honest with each other: “I like you”, “I had a good time”, “I’d really like to see you again”, or even, “You know, I had a good time, but I don’t think it’s gonna work out”. Whatever… give it to me straight!

But maybe he is just sick…

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKK!!!