It’s been a while since I could say that I’ve been completely relaxed, almost to the point that I’m bored… and I’m LOVING it!!!!  I’m at my parent’s place right now, lounging on their comfortable couch in my old sweat pants while my grandmother sits next to me watching the Angels play the Tigers. (I’d be more interested if Santana was pitching… he’s sexy!)

I’ve been here since early Thursday morning, doing absolutely nothing. Wednesday was a pretty busy day for me. I had a scene for Wicked Pictures and my call time wasn’t until 6pm. We all knew we wouldn’t be out of there until late, so the crew and huge cast prepared for the long night. But we had fun! We had a great cast for the scene and we all got along. It was a HUGE orgy scene for an amazing movie they have coming up. Curious to know who was involved??? Let’s see if I can name them all…

Well, me, duh, and Jessica Drake, Mikayla Mendez, Kaylani Lei, Kristen Price, Alektra Blue, Tory Lane, Kayla Carrera, Brad Armstrong, Randy Spears, Marcus London, Rocco Reed, TJ Cummings and Mick Blue. Hot damn! It was a good scene!

We wrapped up just after 1am, and I believe I was on the road home from Downtown by 1:15. I stopped to fuel up my car when I got close to home knowing that I was going to be on the road bright and early to head to my parents. I believe it was exactly 2am when my head hit my pillow.

My alarm went off at 6am, I hopped in the shower, through some clothes into an overnight bag, woke up my dog and headed out the door. I walked into my parents’ place at 8:45. My little sister was headed off to Vegas on Friday morning and she wanted to get her nails done and she needed my help with decided what to wear while she was there. So, we ran a few quick errands, got manicures and pedicures, grabbed some sushi at a local hole-in-the-wall joint, and packed. She was so excited. This is her first trip to Vegas without having to just babysit the whole time. It’s her boyfriend’s 21st birthday, so they’re celebrating. She was actually texting me from the Sapphire strip club last night… I believe they were very much enjoying women together!

As for my weekend back home, it’s been relaxing, yet slightly eventful. My little brother’s little league end-of-the-season party was Friday night at a little pizza joint, complete with an arcade and bumper cars! I had asked my other sister to join me and bring my nephew since I hadn’t seen him in a couple weeks. We had so much fun running around that place! Of course, when it came time for the coaches (one of them being my dad) to present the trophies to the kids, my 23-month-old nephew didn’t want to just sit there! He started screaming and my poor sister had to stay in the arcade and miss the action.

Afterwards, I met with an old friend for a cocktail at the local Chili’s. We chatted for about an hour, reminiscing on high school memories and talking about future plans. I think he got tired of me asking question about everyone in our old ‘group’ because he decided to set up a little dinner for us to get together again the next night.

I guess everyone was in the mood for pizza (which, by this point, I was kind of sick of!), so we met at a little pizza parlor. As my old friends walked into the restaurant, one by one, I lit up! I haven’t seen anyone in probably 3 or 4 years. (After I met my ex a few years ago, I moved in with him and left my old life behind… and never looked back.) I couldn’t believe how grown up all of my boys were! (I was the old girl in a group of about 6 boys in high school… hence the reason for my bad reputation… although I never even kissed any of them… they were like my brothers!) Everyone was either engaged, married, had a baby or expecting one, etc. Still a little heavy on the drinking, but they’ve got their shit together. We sat, enjoyed pizza, talked about life and had a good time for a couple hours. They all wanted to go back to one of their houses and continue the little party. I declined my invitation at first, but then I was told that another one of my old friends was coming, so I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to say hi!

We all headed back to my friend Miller’s house. Everyone started pouring drinks and playing beer pong. I sipped on one Grey Goose and Monster the entire hour and a half I was there. My old friend Jimmy and I actually leaned over his laptop most of the time playing games! My other friend Brian had shown up, so we talked for a few minutes. He was also all grown up and doing well for himself. 

By 9:30 or so, one of the boys had invited over his ‘booty call’, who I learned was barely legal. She had shown up with a couple friends who were a bit over dressed for a house party! One of my friends’ fiance was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt like me, and these girls show up in itty-bitty dresses, heels, hot pink lipstick, teased hair and body glitter! Wow! I quickly said my goodbyes and headed out. Being that I hadn’t seen anyone in so long, I didn’t want to sit there and proceed with my usual shit-talking and make everyone hate me, so I excused myself before it got to that point.

I was home by 10:15 and cuddling with my dog in my sisters bed. I watched a little late night TV and passed out by midnight.

I woke up to my parents preparing my favorite breakfast: Cream of Wheat. Yum! We ate at about 10am. My sister had come by to pick up her son who my parents had babysat last night. My mom wanted to take her mom to go get her nails done, so I join to have my polish changed. I wasn’t happy with the outcome for a couple days ago, so I changed it. Afterwards, I met my sister and her son for more sushi. Surprisingly, that kid loves fish! It was cute to see a two-year-old pick about a California roll! After that, I hit up the local tanning salon to get some color on my white ass.

Since then, my little brother and I have watched Transformers and Kung Fu Panda (Skadoosh!!!!). We’re now watching the Angels game and my parents are decided what to prepare for dinner. I’ve got a scene for Digital Playground with Scott Nails at noon tomorrow. I’ll probably be leaving here in a couple hours to head home. I’m feeling too lazy to make that two hour drive right now, but I’ve gotta get to it!

Hope everyone else is having a great weekend!

I thought I’d take a few minutes while sitting here on a flight, squished between a fairly large woman and window, and give you all my regular update. I’ve been so busy that it seems like a (what’s supposed to be) relaxing flight is the only down time that I have. It’s ridiculous… but I guess having this ridiculous schedule and keeping busy with work is a good thing considering the state of our economy.

I guess I’ll start with Miami. Good Lord, it was HOT! Not only hot, but HUMID! I can handle the heat (c’mon… I live in the San Fernando Valley!), but I can’t handle sweating from the moment that I step out of the shower!

Okay, you know what… I can’t ignore this anymore… This lady sitting next to me, totally invading my personal space due to her large size, is absolutely irritating! First off, she almost missed the flight! I don’t know why, but they held the plane for her. And, it being a full flight, a gentleman and I managed to keep the seat between us empty. So, yes, it was the ONLY available seat for this woman, who now had her laptop out, playing spider solitiare, eating ice cubes and wiping the excess water on her blouse which, let’s face it, probably hasn’t been washed in weeks because she fucking stinks! So, not only am I being squished by another human, but the stench is rubbing onto me!

So, she sits… and fumbles… and fumbles… and fumbles as the rest of the passengers and crew wait on her. Finally, a flight attendant tells her, “Ma’am, we can’t close the doors until you’re situated.” FINALLY, she settles… oh, but then she starts freaking out because she can’t find her cell phone and she’s worried it may be on! “Wait, we can’t leave… my phone might be on!” Everyone ignored her. Hold on, it gets better. During the safety feature demonstration, she yells over everyone, “I can’t find it, so it must be in a suitcase that I checked!” Again, everyone ignored her. She started mumbling about the damn phone, so the guy on the side of her tells her its not a big deal, and to just relax. Fuck! Finally!

Wait, one last thing: as all early morning Southwest flights do, we’re offered complimentary orange juice OR coffee. The flights attendants pre-pour the drinks and bring a tray down the aisle. I’m asked if I’d like either, and before I can answer, SHE speaks up, “Tomato juice in a can!” The flight attendant looks at me. I asked for coffee and Splenda, its handed off, and the flight attendants ask again, “Orange juice or coffee?”

“Tomato juice in a can!”

Are you fucking kidding me?! Who does that?! Take your COMPLIMENTARY drink, shut up and enjoy it. Don’t be picky… and don’t be rude!

FUCK!

I’m sorry, but I’m a very irritable person, and I absolutely cannot tolerate stupidity, unprofessionalism, etc., anything that makes life go less smoothly than it should. And this bitch just irritated the fuck out of me!

“GOOD MORNING, LOS ANGELES!”

Okay, it’s only a 50 minute flight and I’ve got to power down now. I’ll continue after my shoot….

So anyway, my whole point to the ‘girl on the plane’ rant was… well, okay, maybe I didn’t have a point. She was just really irritating. I’m such an easy going and laid back person, and I HATE when things are made more complicated than it really should be. As the other man said… RELAX!!! She was just a spaz. On top of that… are there really people that stupid (or needy or desperate or whatever you want to call it) in this world?!?!?! It’s sad if you ask me.

ANYWAY…

I’ve been shooting like CRAZY!!! My signing is Vegas was fun, other than the fact that I was on my friggin’ period and bitchy!!! I felt so bad!!! I was very irritable and yelling at everyone! No good during a signing… Oops! So, to anyone that witnessed it… I’M SO SORRY!!! It wasn’t even the event or the fans… it was everyone behind the scenes! Grrrrr!!! But I won’t get into that. We did shoot a very interesting scene on the Bang Bus. Can’t give the details… but Rachel Roxxx, Sienna West and I had FUN!

I came home from Miami, shot a scene the next day for Adam & Eve with… fuck… I don’t remember his name! Oh well… it was a good and intense scene, but I wasn’t into him. The next day, I had a 7am flight to Phoenix to shoot 6 solo sets for Aziani.com. The photos were BEAUTIFUL, the solos were a lot of fun, and everyone was so cool! It was definitely a good day on set! I flew home that night, (last night) and was up at 4am again this morning to be on my 6:30 flight to Vegas to shooting a couple scenes for Brazzers. Today’s scenes was for their ‘Baby Got Boobs’ site with Kevin James (husband of Madison James). It was just okay. He’s not as well endowed as the other Brazzers guys (which, in my personal life is good, but it makes it difficult when trying to ‘open up’ for the camera!), and he also didn’t seem very experienced. He kept stepping in front of the camera and hiding what they needed to see. Then, to top it off… WEAK pop shot! Geez!!! But, overall, the set up was great and he was a great guy… it should come out very well.

My scene tomorrow is for the ‘Big Tits In Sports’ site with Keiran Lee. Keiran and I work together often and we’re great friends (I was JUST talking to him on the phone about our rough days! [Yes, he had one, too!]), so our scenes are always intense. Frankly, I need a good fuck! Bring it on, Keiran!!!

Anyway, I’m dead tired and my eyes are burning staring at my computer! Goodnight everyone!

Did anyone read that book or see that movie??? I did both. Fuck that!!! Now, EVERY conversation I have with a guy, or every date that I go on, I find that I analyze it more than ever before and I start freaking out! Oh my God! No good, people!!!

I’m about to go on a rant about my very personal life and it’s probably gonna sound really obsessive, but, at this point, I don’t care:

So, this GUY contacts me about the event I’m hosting in Montreal during UFC, blah blah blah… He ends up shipping me probably a thousand dollars worth of clothes. Yay! Free shit! However, there’s more to it than that. After thanking him over and over, we ending up keeping in touch and chatting very often over the course of a couple weeks and had become excited to meet in Montreal. We even chatted during our layovers in different airports on our way out there… And I’m talkin’ 4am phone calls! So, we meet, we instantly connect like old friends, enjoy each other’s company for a few days, and we even slept together. I know I fuck for a living, but I take first-time-sex with a new ‘friend’ very seriously. I don’t do it just to do it. I really liked him! Even my girl friend noticed that he was really into me. It was just one of those connections.

Anyway, we get home (different flights), we exchanged text messages for a couple days, and he tells me he’s sick. Okay. No one likes to be bothered when they’re sick, so I let him be. This past Friday, after a couple days without talking, I sent a random text message while bored at a bar watching my friends get drunk. We exchanged a few messages: he said he had gotten the flu and was still sick, so I made a joke about wanting to bring him chicken noodle soup but I can’t cook. No answer. No NOTHING all weekend.

So, this morning, I’d say about 10 or 11am, I sent a simple, “Hope you’re feeling better” text. EIGHT HOURS LATER, I got, “I am feelin’ a lil bit better”. Hmmm… Maybe you’re sick, but I expected a little more…

I was so confused, I called my girlfriend: Is he REALLY sick, or does he just not want to see me? I thought we had a great connection, but maybe he was just in it for a little ‘away from home sex’. But, he was such a nice and very genuine guy and treated me extremely well, so I don’t think he would purposely be an asshole. If he doesn’t want to see me, why not tell me??? If he is sick, why not say, “Hey, I’d really like to see you when I get better” or something like that. Or, maybe he is just really sick… like, bedridden, puking his brains out kind of sick and he just doesn’t have the strength to do anything. I DON’T KNOW!!!! And it’s fucking killing me!!!!

Maybe he’s just not that into me…  FUCK THAT MOVIE/BOOK, by the way! If you haven’t seen/read it… DON’T! It’ll ruin your life!

So anyway, I told my friend that I didn’t want to seem needy or desperate or anything, but I really like this guy. It’s crazy how I barely knew him, but just felt ‘it’. But it’s the truth. And I’m not one for playing games. Fuck that shit. I like you; you like me… Let’s fucking go out! Or, if you aren’t into it… TELL ME!!!

We came up with the conclusion to just call him. It’d been a few days, so why not. I called. No answer. So, I left a voicemail. Short, sweet, to the point: “…Glad to hear you’re feeling a little better… Would really like to see you again… If you’re up for it, give me a call.” So, ball’s in his court, I guess.

I fucking hate ‘dating’ for these reasons. Why can’t we all just be honest with each other: “I like you”, “I had a good time”, “I’d really like to see you again”, or even, “You know, I had a good time, but I don’t think it’s gonna work out”. Whatever… give it to me straight!

But maybe he is just sick…

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKK!!!